Coming to your senses

I was recently listening to a sermon on the prodigal son, and I thought to myself “I’ve heard every interpretation of this story, what more could I learn now?” Boy, was I mistaken!

Now, most of us know the story of the prodigal son, but for the benefit of those of you who don’t, here’s the gist of it;

Once upon a time, there was a certain wealthy man who had two sons. One day, the younger son asks for his share of the father's wealth and decides to leave home. He travels to a faraway land and spends all his money on wayward living. Soon, broke and hungry, he finds work as a swineherd hoping that his daily wages will feed him, but alas there is a famine in the land, and his wages are far too less to buy him his daily meal. Starving and desperate, he finds himself wishing he could fill his stomach with what the pigs were eating. And in that moment, he realizes that in his Father’s house, even the servants eat choice food and have food to spare besides. So, he decides to journey back to his father and beg to be just a servant at his house.

While he is still a great way off from home, his father who had been hopefully waiting each day for him, sees him, runs towards him and embraces him. The son begs for forgiveness, saying he doesn’t deserve to be a son in this house anymore, and asks if he could be taken back as just a servant. But the father would hear none of it, he orders the grandest of feasts to be prepared in honor of his son, gives him new robes, the finest jewelry and is, all in all, ecstatic! Now the older son who was out working hard, returns to find the sounds of celebration at home and upon inquiring, learns the reason for it. He feels wronged and as though justice was denied, and therefore refuses to join the celebrations. He asks his father “wasn’t I always obedient towards you? Have you ever had a feast in my honor?”. The father pleads and responds to his son saying “son, you were always with me, all that I have is yours to enjoy. But this brother of yours, he was lost and now he is found, he was dead and now look, he is alive! Is it not reason to celebrate?”

Growing up, whenever I heard this story, my take away from it almost always was the sweet unconditional love of the father. On certain days, I could even relate to the elder son that felt the need for some kind of justice or correction in that scenario. But I never could really relate to the prodigal son, cause I couldn't ever imagine leaving my Father’s house like that. Until the day I did. The past few years I’ve been so far away from my Father’s presence, so starved of spiritual food, that something the preacher said just hit me. She said “the prodigal son wished the swine’s food would fill his stomach, and then he came to his senses.”. He came to his senses, she repeated, over and over again, until I came to my senses.

From being so strongly sustained by the Word and Spirit of God, to going to a phase in life where spiritually, I was barely getting by, to then being absolutely starved and parched, I was truly in a land of famine. And in that phase of being spiritually broke, just like the prodigal son, I too decided to “work” for my daily meal. I started with listening to worship songs in the morning, listening to different sermons, scrolling through social media and desperately saving any verse or post that sounded encouraging or spiritual. “God has answered your prayers, your breakthrough is coming” -save. “You do not know now why I do this, but later you will understand” -like and save. Aimless and endless scrolling and saving, knowing that none of it was able to fill that hunger in my soul. I had finally reached that place where even swine’s food looked like an answer to my hunger; the insights of the influencers of this age, the endless almost repetitive jokes and memes on social media, the easy recipes and beauty hacks that I thought could earn me love and acceptance. I would even read the comments and arguments online to understand people's opinions on ideologies and teachings. Anything, really, to fill my soul. Until the day I came to my senses.

What was I trying to fill myself with, to satisfy my hunger? It was all but a day’s wage that somehow took me through the day, but never really nourished my being. If I would just go back to my Father’s presence, oh how he would fill my soul. If I would just decide to draw near to Him, to stop hiding from Him, I’d be able to see Him earnestly waiting. Waiting to run towards me! He will clothe me with new robes, so I can leave behind the stench of my wanderings, He will adorn me with His finest jewelry, so I will shine the brightest, but above all, He will prepare the choicest most extravagant banquet for me. For my famished soul to be filled, filled with the food of His Word, and the everlasting drink that is His Spirit. That soul filling nourishment comes only from Him directly; from time spent alone with him in quietness and worship, from reading his Word with submission and trust. That’s where I belong, in my Father’s house.

To those of us that are famished, I ask today, what are we trying to feed on, to fill that hunger in our soul? As I leave each one with that question, I say a little prayer; may we come to our senses this day, and walk towards the Father who is waiting to run towards us.

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